Yep, you read it right. And if you follow me on social media, we have just announced our pregnancy. God I love that word. PREGNANT, PREGNANT, PREGNANT. So by the time you are reading this, we are roughly 13/14 weeks gone.
I found out today (12th April) that I'm pregnant. In the work toilets (inpatient!). My periods are like clockwork and so when I was 5 days late, with 2 negative Boots own pregnancy tests, I thought there must be something wrong.
I knew my period was due on the Sunday (8th April) and I had all the belly aches to assume it was coming. I took a pregnancy test on the Friday (6th April), as we had a night out on the Saturday (7th April) with our Instagram friends, my belly felt that bloated, that I took out tampons just in case I was coming on that night! But... I had a hunch I should check. Negative. I mean we REALLY enjoyed our evening, we probably drank Reading out of Sambuca and rum shots, oops! I didn't get my period on the Sunday, but thought nothing of it "maybe all the alcohol has delayed it, I don't know?"
It got to Wednesday (11th April) and my period still hadn't come (4 days late) which was SO weird, I've never been this late. Thursday (12th April) came, I went to Boots as I needed to stock up on folic acid and thought to buy a ClearBlue test this time instead because it's so unusual that I'm now 5 days late.
From the bottom of my heart, I felt it was pointless, sorry men (if men read this) but, I had like a period belly, I felt it was soon approaching I was just getting so annoyed it wasn't there, like can my body stop teasing me because you know we've been trying for a while now!
Well anyway... bloody POSITIVE!
I Whatsapp video'ed Todd from the toilet and just cried, he was giggling! I had acupuncture the following week for fertility and was going to book a doctors appointment to tell them we were trying, but failing. So to get this positive, well... it was a bloody miracle!
How do I feel?
I am in disbelief to be totally honest. I will always be honest here, the bad & the good. I feel so happy that I could burst into a thousand pieces, but I also feel like I can't be toooo happy just yet. It doesn't feel real! I've read so much, seen so much and know people who have been through miscarriages and loss, I feel I need to just see what happens, because the first 12 weeks, well anything could happen couldn’t it? I so desperately want to shout from the rooftops and celebrate, but we are scared to tell anyone, especially our family, for that "just incase"... So we have made the decision that we won’t tell anyone until just before we go to Mykonos because by then we will be 14 weeks, had our scan and tests done and will hopefully be out of the dreaded danger zone (although, are you ever really out of it?!)
Other feelings and thoughts were “I wish my mum lived near me so I could run to her for a cuddle” “How do I get out of all these events planned, that are based around alcohol?” “Will my friends hate me for cancelling and think I’m just lying/ making excuses?!” "It's SO hard avoiding people!" There’s a lot running through my mind, but right now, it’s all irrelevant because I’m going to rest up, relax and prepare to be the best hostess to this teeny tiny baby, growing inside of me.
Love, Rey x
